Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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