he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And then he peed in my hair
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