your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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