it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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