spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
