If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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