i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
