Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Damn victory sex feels great
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
