Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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