On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
