There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
