I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
