dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize