she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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