Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
