i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it's like heaven, but drunker
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
