i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
