I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
