I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
