I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
