I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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