I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
