He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize