Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just puked most of my soul out..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
