I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
