Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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