i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
