Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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