just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
