dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
