Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We need a shit load of segways right now
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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