Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
