is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I am one with the molecules
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
