Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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