OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
