community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
