I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
