I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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