I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
