there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
