I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
