did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
