you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
