how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
