I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
