Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
