His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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