with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
