I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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