Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
