am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he fucked my hip out of place.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
