It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
