The maid of honor just puked.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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