R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
