how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
