She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
