I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
