what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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