Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
we're so committed to being not committed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
