A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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