Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
