Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
