she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
