I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
