Who did Billy Mays play for?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
