he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
